Tuesday, April 07, 2009

this is what Biphobia looks like: columnist Michael Musto asks 'Are Bisexuals Real?'

Stop Biphobia Now!The totally tired and decidedly un-fabulous Michael Musto a gossip columnist for the Village Voice has come out with a biphobic, anti-scientific column titled "Ever Meet a Real Bisexual"? questioning the legitimacy of bisexuality. In it he says (among other silly things):
"Everyone always says they're bisexual, blabbing on and on about how "sexuality is fluid, and I don't really like labels"--but usually I find these are just gay men who are afraid to come out. I know there are real bisexuals out there--mainly because I've heard that there are--and I do think it's a lovely idea to actually crave sex with people regardless of gender. I'm just wondering how real a phenomenon this is, as opposed to a smoke-and-mirrors coverup designed to keep antsy gays in the closet.

Most of the guys I know who say they're bisexual end up doing Bette Davis impersonations after a few drinks, and when you invite them to an all-girl bar, they get excited, thinking you mean Splash. But do you know anyone who REALLY is equally attracted to both men and women and effortlessly glides between those two dating pools without a second's thought or self-consciousness? If so, do you ever suspect they're full of shit?"
Suggesting bisexuality is a phenomenon, or that bisexual men are closeted liars is offensive and outright wrong!

While some who say these bigoted things may think they are being funny, cute and amusing not to mention raising the hit rate on their columns a notch or two or some well-meaning people may just chalk it up to "sibling rivalry" within the greater LGBT Community -- annoying but not to serious, in reality the biphobic rants of Michael Musto, Dan Savage, et al. are just as toxic as Fred Phelps, James Dobson's Focus on the Family and their ilk are to the greater LGBT Community.

They give legitimacy to troubled souls of the kind we ALL know too well, (such as the recent YouTube incidents) and help to incite hatred and violence against the bisexual/pansexual and fluid community.

Take Action
Contact Michael Musto and tell him biphobia has no place in the Village Voice or anywhere else for that matter.

Contact GLAAD and ask them to please live up to their mission to defend the LGBT Community against all hate-mongering in the media
and many thanks to the good people at Queers United for noticing the article, knowing it was wrong and immediately doing something about it. They are a good source of info for the LGBT community and would be a helpful addition to anyone's blogroll.

14 comments:

  1. Maybe Michael should meet MY ass! I am equally attracted to both sexes, even though I am HAPPILY married to a man. I do think that when a man says he's bisexual, perhaps he may be more inclined to be gay, but with us women, we are more fluid and in touch with our emotions about it and I believe, can be truly more easily bisexual than a man. But then again, coming from me, who loves beautiful women, I can understand a man loving BOTH! After all, I do! Musto should stick to Hollywood gossip and leave to the rest of us whatever labels we wish to call ourselves. Aren't we all our own unique person in the first place?? Don't we all uniquely have desires, ideas, and express ourselves individually? Sexuality like any other personal characteristic should not be put into a box by anyone but ourselves.

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  2. Anonymous8:37 PM

    Thanks for the heads up on this. After 50 years I know Im not sitting on any fence, Im not confused and Im not on my way to being gay. I am simply a bisexual attracted to both women and men. We struggle with being invisible enough without people like Michael Musto telling us we are not real.
    Mark

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  3. Mr. Musto, while I realize you most likely only wrote this drivel to start some controversy and up your hit count, the problem is that you stir up many of your more disturbed and rabid fans especially among the semi-closeted crowd (out to their lover and at the bars - in the closet at home, work and in the neighborhood) who seem to be among those who have the most virulent hatred of the "out & proud" bi/pan/fluid part of the LGBT community

    additionally you and your "fellow-travelers" (such as Savage, Casablanca and Bindel) seem to have a disproportionate influence over these poor unfortunate weak-minded folk in the greater LGBT community, who tend to quote a lot of your biphobic nonsense while they are ranting on that "bisexual vermin" need to be "exterminated" to protect the "pure" and "real" members of the gay and lesbian community.

    when what you write becomes the justification for people like that who threaten violence against bisexual people within the LGBT community and who tell a nervous bisexual kid who is just coming out that the queer community would be better off if they committed suicide, then we -- who staff the hotlines and receive the desperate and despairing e-mails and know the damage that is being done -- also know that you have indeed become no better then Phelps, Dobson et. al.

    was your publishing yet another witty little bòn mót for the applause of your sycophants and getting a little up-tick on your counter really worth having a bisexual youth beaten up or a bisexual kid making a suicidal gesture because they now think not even the queer community will give them refuge?

    all hate speech has consequences

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  4. Anonymous11:20 PM

    I just sent a letter in to the Voice. Thank you for this update. I know times are tough but does he need to drum up business this way? I encourage everyone to send polite, friendly, honest letters. Peace!

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  5. I posted a reply over in the comments section on the original article's web version .... seriously, wow, I was not joking when I wrote that it was like being back in the 1990s, or earlier, reading that. Musto is turning into some kind of museum piece.

    I also wasn't kidding when I wrote that he should stop dating closet cases and thinking all bisexual men are the same. In my experience, the majority of gay men who are that upset about bisexual "lying" are doing a LOT of cruising for sex on line, and are only getting (or accepting??) responses from married guys who really ARE closeted.

    Gay men who trick with a mix of gay and/or bisexual men who are OUT usually don't have nearly that level of angst. After a while, you start to wonder why they don't just insist on the quality of "out", rather than the quality of "who you claim to fuck."

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  6. Anonymous11:02 PM

    ...this guy can't be serious.

    "it's a lovely idea to actually crave sex with people regardless of gender."

    What?! Because being straight is simply craving sex of the opposite gender, right? Love and dating and all those things don't matter. After all, bisexuals aren't people with valid felings who have real relationships, they're just sex-"crave"d animals, dontchaknow?

    ...And so what if a bisexual person doesn't "effortlessly glide between those two dating pools"?? how you date has nothing to do with being a "true" bisexual. Plenty of straight people have trouble in just one dating pool and their heterosexuality isn't questioned.

    ...And should there be "a second's thought or self-consciousness?" This guy's an idiot.

    This guy is lost. He should do some research and actually talk to bisexual people, not drunken "situational-homos".

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  7. Ron Suresha asks: "Is Michael Musto for Real?" http://snurl.com/fmgap

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  8. to read well known Bi-identified LGBT Author Ron Suresha's delightful and witty response to Michael Musto simply click on the link and enter the "password" musto

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  9. Anonymous3:39 PM

    I write him a nice message. Using his "voice" to destroy those who are struggling to be heard is not a funny thing.

    anywayz I heard something about Dan Savage also being biphobic. he's also a racist as well XD i mean whats the diff? not surprising.
    thats old new though.

    i wanted to know are there any other biphobic people/articles out there? i remeber one written by a biphobic lisbean woman...a while back...but i cant remember what the article was called...

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  10. that woud probably be Dan Savage

    o http://andeatit2.wordpress.com/2008/07/04/dan-savage-stop-with-the-biphobia-already/
    o http://www.melted-dreams.net/definition/2006/04/26/dan-savage-cant-count/
    o http://www.feministing.com/archives/012266.html
    o http://www.robynochs.com/writing/letters/Savage_Love_and_Hate.html

    and Julie Bindel

    o http://bialogue.livejournal.com/27206.html

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  11. One can't be too surprised of this since the LGBT Center in NYC is not one of the most progressive in the nation, with many closets still awaiting opening up. The position of Bi groups must be still quite precarious in there, since they seem to tiptoe around issues instead of mustering the courage to take them on. This to me reads as if the Center does not really reflect the base or the diversity of LGBTTQ-Poly communities, the different kinds of people that inhabit them but just the glibness of the big apple, queer style, with all-out urban gay men running the scene. It's such a pity! The way I've encountered this is by the perverse sabotage of my voice in the scene, which has been silenced, in one way or another, even though, as myself and many others firmly believe, I have a significant contribution to make.
    So be it.
    It's time to open up a whole string of parallel closet doors that imprison sectors of our community into narrowly defined micro-identities that do nothing but produce useless competition among subgroups. Biphobia is bad enough. Yet there is worse, with a whole bunch of taboo subjects that if at all mentioned publicly cause upheavals and all kinds of emotional responses, even though they are common parlance among many progressive groups. Let's become authentic allies instead of glib enemies camouflaged as coalitions. We are losing the forest for the trees!
    Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio, PhD, author of Gaia and the New Politics of Love
    Blog: http://polyplanet.blogspot.com/

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  12. Anonymous3:59 PM

    There have been bisexuals as far back as History goes, just like there have been gay and straight people as far back as History goes. James Dean, Montgomery Clift, and Freddie Murcury are a few men who have fit that description. Mercury had long term sexual relationships with both women and men and left all of his money to a woman who he called his common law wife, the love of his life. He was a self identified bisexual. These are a few of the men, and there are many women who identify as bisexual as well- Natalie Portman, Lady Gaga, and Vanessa Carlton, to note a few. I think that when straight or gay people do not want to recognize bisexuals,it is because it is confusing to them, and people who go one certain way in life like boundaries easily defined for THEMSELVES. That is not a reason to ignore and castigate a whole section of the population. I would say that there are more bisexual people than gay people, but not as many as straight people. In other words, we are a LARGE segment of the population. We deserve to be recognized and we are worthy of respect and love, just like everyone else. I have been attracted to both sexes for as long as I can remember. So have many many other people.

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  13. Anonymous5:14 PM

    Wow NYCStageProducer, you just traded sexuality-based discrimination for gender-based discrimination. Way to go. Keep feeding that "all women are bisexual, but men are either straight or gay" fallacy.

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  14. Anonymous6:58 AM

    I am a bisexual man I have noticed that most or many bi men that are out lean more towards men. I am out and lean more towards women. In my younger years this was less of an issue as an art student. As I am older and in a wider community than just artists. Proclaiming your bi is often date suicide. My straight and bi friends say "you date women why not say your straight?" the truth is I can't when I realize all the bi discrimnation. Where are the other bi men - the call themselves straight there entire lives afraid of the stigma! I know so many straight men with same sex attractions, or who have had sex who are still "straight". They will say things like "well everyone is a little bisexual." or "we were just playing around when we were in highschool" or "I can tell when a guy is hot and still be straight." Yes maybe but I think there is more to this.

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