Saturday, June 27, 2015

First NYC Pride Bisexual Grand Marshal Speaks At Rally, Share Your Reaction

J. Christopher Neal, founder of FluidBiDesign, a group for bisexual and fluid men of color in NYC, speaks at the NYC Pride Rally on 06/26/15.

Neal is the first ever Grand Marshal for NYC Pride to be openly and proudly bisexual. He's also the first Black bi fluid man to serve as NYC Pride Grand Marshal. Standing behind Neal holding the bisexual pride flag is Larry Nelson of the New York Area Bisexual Network (NYABN). Nelson is the surviving widow of NYC Pride co-founder and bisexual icon Brenda Howard. Video Credit: Apphia Kumar for

Many of us have been waiting a very long time to see bisexuals recognized at NYC Pride. BiNet USA President Faith Cheltenham listened to Chris talk today and shot her own reaction video!

Share your reactions by tweeting us at @binetusa 
Send Chris your thanks at @fluidbidesign

06/26/15 was a historic day for many reasons:

*45th anniversary of NYC Pride, first organized by Brenda "Mother of Pride" Howard
*10th anniversary of Brenda Howard's death
*Marriage equality becomes law of the land protecting LGBT couples across the U.S
*J Christopher Neal is first ever bisexual grand marshal for NYC Pride and asks for a moment of silence for the 4 teens the bi+ community has lost to suicide in the past 3 months.
Don't forget to check out Chris speaking in the NYC Pride Grand Marshal Announcement (alongside Sir Derek Jacobi and Sir Ian McKellan).

Check out FluidBiDesign for bisexual and fluid men of color on Facebook!

Friday, June 26, 2015

Happy Marriage Equality, now #savethebisexuals

BiNet USA Statement On What’s Next After Marriage Equality
by BiNet USA board members Aud Traher and Faith Cheltenham

Marriage equality represents a culture shift, one we have all fought long and hard for. BiNet USA recognizes bisexual activists like Lindasusan Ulrich and Emily Drennan (below) who were arrested in their wedding dresses on the steps of San Francisco’s City Hall 10 years ago. We congratulate bi+ icon Robyn Ochs and her wife Peg Preble on being the first couple to legally wed in the state of Massachusetts 11 years ago.

Lindasusan Ulrich and wife Emily Drennan with their wedding dresses on display at GLBT History Museum in SF

Now that we've won marriage, we need immediate and concrete support for bisexual community issues like domestic violence, rape/sexual assault, poor health, poverty and suicidality. In just the past 3 months, we have lost at least 4 bi, pan, fluid or otherwise bisexuality-oriented teens to suicide in the United States. 

Blake Brockington, Black Pan and Trans. Homecoming King. 
18 years old as of March 23rd, 2015.

Taylor Alesana, Bi and Trans. Makeup guru and Youtube star. 
16 years old as of April 2nd, 2015.  

 Alyssa Morgan, had voice of an angel, now she is one.
12 years old as of April 9th, 2015. 

 Adam Kizer, bisexual guitar rock god. 
16 years old as of May 30th, 2015.

The youngest teen to die? 12 years old. Half were transgender identified, and since 46% of trans people and 46% of bi people report seriously thinking about suicide, we know the future feels bleak to people who are trans and/or gender nonconforming and bi.

We must do something to save the future for bisexuals, because marriage equality won't mean much if half the population it can serve are dead.

To learn more about bisexual health, safety and security disparities, check out The Movement Advancement Project report "Understanding Issues Facing Bisexual Americans"

To support the work of BiNet USA, donate or buy a button!

Thursday, June 18, 2015

BiNet USA Bisexual Media Guide - #MarriageEquality Edition

With the Supreme Court expected to deliver a ruling on marriage equality any day now, BiNet USA and a crack team of experts from several different bi+ organizations drafted an update to the BiNet USA Bisexual Media the new guide as a pdf here.

BiNet USA Bisexual Media Guide
Marriage Edition
(updated June 2015)
Photo Caption/Credit: Image of bisexual pride flag with two golden rings

Bisexual Marriage Images 
Bi+ Marriage Banner (2000x1333)
Bi+ Marriage Square Icon (970x970)
Bi+ Marriage Square Icon_sm (100x100)
Bisexual, Bi    A person whose enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction is to other people of various sexes and/or gender identities. Individuals may experience this attraction in differing ways and degrees over their lifetime. Never use a hyphen or space when spelling bisexual. Avoid classifying information about bisexual people, communities, and identities as “bisexuality”; instead, use “bisexual” to refer to bisexual content. Using “bi” is often preferable, but when in doubt, always ask.

Biphobia    Prejudice against and/or fear of bisexuals. Prejudice against bisexuals often occurs on both a cultural and personal level based on stereotypes, including inaccurate and harmful associations with infidelity, transphobia, binarism, confusion over their sexual orientation, promiscuity and transmission of sexually-transmitted diseases.

Bisexual erasure, Bi erasure     Bisexual erasure or bisexual invisibility is the tendency to ignore, remove, falsify, or re-explain evidence of bisexuality in history, academia, news media and other primary sources. Bisexual erasure is often influenced by biphobia. Avoid bisexual erasure in headlines. If the story is about a bisexual person, the headline should NOT use “gay”; instead use “bi.”

Misorientation    Misorientation occurs when bisexual people are identified incorrectly as gay, lesbian, or straight using current or previous relationship status instead of personal identification.  When one or both members of a featured same-sex couple are bisexual, be sure to correctly identify them as such. Misorienting bi people leads to unnecessary and deeply harmful mental stress. AVOID: Opposite-sex couple, straight couple, heterosexual couple, gay couple, and lesbian couple, unless appropriate. USE: Different-sex couple, same-sex couple, and mixed-orientation marriage.

Mixed-Orientation Marriage    A mixed-orientation marriage is a marriage between partners of differing sexual orientations and frequently occurs with bisexual people. Mixed-orientation marriages can have same-sex/gender or different-sex/gender partners but the bisexuals involved remain bisexual.

Different-Sex Couple    A romantic pairing involving two people of different-sexes. The individuals involved may identify with any sexual orientation. Bisexuals and many other LGBT people may prefer to honor and recognize their relationship status with other ceremonies or ways than marriage. Seek to honor committed relationships no matter the sex or gender.

Same-Sex Couple    A romantic pairing involving two people of same-sexes. The individuals involved may identify with various sexual orientations including gay, lesbian, bisexual, and asexual.
Problematic: “bi-sexual”, “BiSexual”
Preferred: “bisexual”
Do not use a hyphen in bisexual and only capitalize bisexual when used at the beginning of a sentence.
Problematic: “Chris Jones, who currently identifies as bisexual,” “Chris Jones, who identifies as bisexual,” “Chris Jones, a self-avowed bisexual.”
Preferred: “Chris Jones, a bisexual from Chicago…” or “Chris Jones, a bisexual mom of two.” It’s offensive to describe bisexual people as if their identity is transitory and is not a confirmed part of the person.
Problematic: “gay marriage,” “gay and lesbian couples”
Preferred: “marriage equality,” “the freedom to marry,” “gay, lesbian, and same-gender couples,” “couples in the LGBT community,” “same-/similar-sex couples”
Use “gay, lesbian, and same-gender” when discussing gay, lesbian and same-gender couples denied the right to have their marriages honored and acknowledged by state or federal law. See misorientation.
Defamatory: “fence-sitter,” “breeder,” “bi-curious,” “lesbian until graduation,” “bisexual until graduation,” “college lesbian,” “gay for pay,” “buy-sexual,” “half-gay,” “swinger,” “Bi now, gay later,” “half-straight,” “Bi-Sexual,” “bar-sexual,” “down low,” “switch-hitter,” “try-sexual,” “Part-time Gay,” “Goes Both Ways,” “Swings Both Ways,” “Down Low”    The bisexual orientation is an integral, valid and permanent part of a person’s identity. Do not characterize bisexual people as “passing,” as “confused,” as “indecisive,” as “lying” to other people, or as “pretending” to be bisexual. Such descriptions are defamatory and insulting and should ONLY be used when discussing and explaining such negative stereotypes.

Defamatory: “bisexuality reinforces the gender binary,” “bisexuals are gender-binarists.”     
Recent slur frequently used by those uneducated on the history of the bisexual and transgender/gender nonconforming communities, identities, and experiences. In 1990, the manifesto of the long-standing bisexual publication “Anything That Moves” stated: “Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have ‘two’ sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.” DO recognize that bisexuals define their identity as being attracted to those of the same-sex/gender or to those of different-sex/genders.

Defamatory: “hot sexy bi babe,” “bi babes,” “only hot because s/he’s bi,” “double your chances on a Saturday night”
Avoid any term that equates a bisexual person’s desirability to their bisexuality. Do not imply that being bisexual makes one more desirable as a sex partner. Doing so contributes to the high rates of sexual victimization bisexuals experience. Do not reference the Woody Allen quote about “doubling your chances on a Saturday night”: this is far different from what most bisexuals experience.
Numerous polls and surveys indicate the bisexual population to be 40–51% of the entire lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community.  Many transgender persons, regardless of gender identity, also identify as bisexual. As a large community, bisexual people predominantly use “bisexual” as a Community Identity Label (similar to “lesbian,” “gay,” “straight,” or “queer”).

Use of a Community Identity Label helps describe commonalities, create safe spaces, and is essential to tracking the significant number of health and safety disparities bisexuals experience. At the same time, many bisexuals use Personal Identity Labels, which serve a vital function in describing differences while giving each individual a space to be unique. Personal Identity Labels like “pansexual,” “bi-dyke,” or “queer” may also reflect a particular attitude toward ideas such as Gender Theory.

While some bisexual people call themselves “pansexual,” “fluid,” “omnisexual,” “flexisexual,” “heteroflexible,” “non-monosexuals,” and/or “queer,” DO NOT use these terms UNLESS someone is explicitly self-identifying in this way. It’s important to note that many bisexuals use terms other than bisexual to avoid the immediate stigma that occurs when they self-identify as bisexual in gay, lesbian, or straight spaces.

The preferred shorthand for bisexual is “bi.” In recent years, the Bisexual Organizing Project has also popularized the use of the term “bi+” as shorthand for the long list of personal identity labels validated and celebrated in bisexual, pansexual, fluid, and queer communities.


A BiNet USA Project with co-sponsorship from:
The American Institute of Bisexuality; the Bisexual Resource Center; the Bisexual Organizing Project; the New York Area Bisexual Network (NYABN); Bialogue; DC Alliance of Multicultural Bisexuals (AMBi); Los Angeles Bi Task Force; and Bisexual Books.  

Bi Media Working Group, chaired by Faith Cheltenham, BiNet USA President:
ABilly Jones-Hennin, Alison Walkley, Amy Andre, Aud Traher, Cynthia Connors, Denise Penn, Ellyn Ruthstrom, Emily Dievendorf, Estraven, Gary North, Helen Acosta, Heron Greenesmith, Jim Larsen, Lauren Beach, Lindasusan Ulrich, Loraine Hutchins, Martin Rawlings-Fein, Meredith Lively, Dr. Mimi Hoang, Morgan Goode, Peter M. Ruggiero, Ron Suresha, Sarah Stumpf, and Stacey Langley.

With additional marriage equality edits from Alison Walkley, Aud Traher, Dani Siragusa, Ellyn Ruthstrom, Faith Cheltenham, Heron Greenesmith, Lynnette McFadzen, Paul Nocera, Peter Ruggiero, Robyn Ochs, Ron Suresha, and Toby Adams.


American Institute of Bisexuality


Bisexual Organizing Project

Bisexual Resource Center

For more bisexual organizations in the United States

For more bisexual organizations worldwide


Bi Any Other Name, by Loraine Hutchins and Lani Ka‘ahumanu
Bi Men: Coming Out, edited by Pete Chvany and Ron Suresha
Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, edited by Robyn Ochs and Sarah Rowley
Recognize: The Voices of Bisexual Men, edited by Robyn Ochs and H. Sharif Williams (Dr. Herukhuti)
Bi America: Myths, Truths, and Struggles of an Invisible Community, by William Burleson

Bisexual People of Color Mailing List and Resources ~ BiNet USA

“Way Beyond the Binary” ~ Bisexual Resource Center

Resource List for Mixed-Orientation Marriages ~ The BiCast

“Supporting and Caring for our Bisexual Youth” ~ The Human Rights Campaign

“Understanding Issues Facing Bisexual Americans” ~ The Movement Advancement Project

Bi Women Quarterly 

Please share widely, let's educate people on our families, our marriages and our lives!

Saturday, June 06, 2015

The B is resilient, we can #makeittotomorrow

Been a tough couple of days out there in bi land, but our community is pulling together to hold each other tight. Bisexual community members are using the hashtags #adamkizer #makeittotomorrow #biphobiakills to educate people on the heartbreaking reality for many bisexual youth.

We have all been grateful to see how much coverage there's been of Adam's story, with great posts from Advocate, the Human Rights Campaign, GLAAD, and The Independent among others.

Adam and sister from the family's GoFundMe

Earlier I spoke to Adam Kizer's father, William Kizer, and expressed our condolences as a community. We started a conversation about what accountability for Adam might look like. We both believe changes need to be made immediately so that kids like Adam aren't always failed by their school district, mental health providers, protective services, and justice system.

I also asked Mr. Kizer to write a letter to President Obama, from one father to another, in hopes of hearing what the White House can do to assist the community of Sonoma, CA in saving the lives of more of its bisexual youth.

Bi people report high levels of early childhood abuse and severe bullying, often higher than both their gay and straight peers. One of the best books about surviving abuse as a young bi person was written recently by Scottish bisexual actor, director and advocate Alan Cumming.

Photo Caption/Credit: Not My Father's Son book jacket.

Not My Father's Son, a recent Lambda Literary Award finalist, is filled with the extraordinary grace and compassion that often accompanies survivors when they choose to speak their truth. And it's ridiculously funny too.

Alan Cumming with BiNet USA President Faith Cheltenham at 2015 Lambda Literary awards

Check out Mr. Cumming's book and other Lambda Literary award finalists here. New York Times columnist, Charles Blow, ended up winning the 2015 Lambda Literary Award for bisexual non-fiction for his book, Fire Shut Up In My Bones, but every finalist was truly outstanding.

As a community, I think we can all use some more laughter in our life. So I encourage everyone to check out Alan Cumming this weekend as he co-hosts the 69th Annual Tony Awards alongside the uber talented Kristin Chenoweth!

This Sunday, June 7th, 2015 @ 8/7 central on CBS!

Lots of love and well wishes,
Faith Cheltenham, BiNet USA President 

Mr. Cumming sends his love too! You too can #MakeItToTomorrow

Open Letter to the family of Alyssa Morgan in Des Moines, IA

Dear family of Alyssa Morgan in Des Moines, IA,

Please accept the heartfelt condolences from our nonprofit BiNet USA and the bisexual community. BiNet USA is a 25 year old 501c3 non profit and I am it's president, Faith Cheltenham.

We are seeking to draw attention to Alyssa’s death from suicide and the need for more support for bisexual youth who report thinking of suicide much more often than their gay, lesbian and straight peers.

Today we have several blogs and news outlets working on stories related to this weekend's passing of Adam Kizer in Sonoma, CA. Adam was a bright, warm and funny teen who was bullied severely. Like Alyssa, he suffered until he could fight no more.

We wish to help take up the fight for Adam, for Alyssa, and the too many gone.

Please email me at to be connected with reporters and bloggers interested in interviewing you about Alyssa.

You may also be considering legal action due to the discrimination Alyssa may have experienced at the hands of her school district. BiNet USA has a close working relationship with several legal advocacy groups who may be interested in discussing your case with you. Please email me if we can connect you.

Lastly, we have worked with the White House on issues relating to the bisexual community in America. I want to suggest you write a letter about your daughter to President Obama who has been a staunch supporter of the B in LGBT. Tell him the whole story and ask for his help in making sure Alyssa's legacy means real support specifically targeting bisexual youth in America.

I would be proud to forward that letter to the White House and the administration officials that work to make school safer for everyone.

The B in LGBT is using the hashtags #MakeItToTomorrow and #biphobiakills in social media to draw attention to the mental health concerns of bi teens. Please consider joining us or visiting Twitter to see how Alyssa’s story is being shared in the hopes that more of us #MakeItToTomorrow.

Our Twitter is @BiNetUSA and we send our love thru the wires to you, your family and to dear Alyssa.  May she rest in peace and in power, knowing the grief of our people will be heard until there is not one more loss of life.

With deepest sympathy,
Faith Cheltenham, BiNet USA President
646-498-3216 (cell)

Thank you for sharing your story and allowing Alyssa's voice to be heard. She was a beautiful singer, and we were really moved by her cover of "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri. May she be remembered as precious, talented and valued by her family, friends and community.

Am I good
Posted by Alyssa Mørgan on Sunday, May 25, 2014
(You were good Alyssa, you were so good!)

Thursday, June 04, 2015

Guest Blog: Bisexual Dating Event in Los Angeles on June 20th, 2015

By Alex Anders

The first large-scale bisexuals dating event held in the United States is being organized by international bestselling romance author Alex Anders, in partnership with OkCupid and amBi, the largest social group for bisexuals in the U.S.. Hosted at the Continental Club in downtown Los Angeles on June 20th, the event is receiving support from Buzzfeed Video which will be creating a series of videos about the event and the topic of bisexuality.

When it comes to dating, bisexuals are often prejudiced by both gay and straight daters. So looking to create an event where bisexuals can meet each other, Alex Anders quickly received enthusiastic support from national brands who shared his vision for social change.

Run by Mix Professionals, a popular Meetup group, the event will be a game night mixer for young single bisexuals. And if the first event is a success, OkCupid hopes to make the partnership long term with events for different age groups and in different parts of the country.

Many studies show that those who identify as bisexual outnumber gay and lesbians combined, but you would never know it by the lack of bisexual presence in media and in commerce. Alex Anders sees this first-time-ever event as giving the unrecognized millions of bisexual Americans a place to meet each other free of the stereotypes and prejudices that often accompany dating hetero and homosexuals. And with the support of OkCupid, Buzzfeed, ambi and Mix Professionals, it is an event that could change the way that bisexuals see themselves and their community.

YouTube channel – Bisexual Real Talk


BiNet USA + #OurTomorrow - Bay Area Photo Blast

Santa Cruz GLBT Alliance co-chair and longtime bisexual leader Thomas Leavitt, BiNet USA President Faith Cheltenham and Santa Cruz longtime bisexual leader Chai at BiNet USA + Our Tomorrow event hosted by Thomas Leavitt.

BiNet USA + Our Tomorrow received a warm welcome at a reception held by Santa Cruz, CA bi+ leaders.

Lambda Literary award winning poet Jan Steckel and BiNet USA President Faith Cheltenham at at BiNet USA + Our Tomorrow co-hosted book reading at Starr King School of Ministry, Berkeley, CA.

 Juba Kalamka, African American bisexual artist and activist, reading his words from Recognize: The Voices of Bisexual Men at BiNet USA + Our Tomorrow co-hosted book reading at Starr King School of Ministry, Berkeley, CA

Please share your voice by using the BiNet USA link, let's make sure the B in LGBT is heard!

Wednesday, June 03, 2015

Bisexual community mourns loss of bisexual teen, Adam Kizer

"The death of a bisexual Sonoma Valley teen who killed himself after years of bullying has sparked a community discussion about the emotionally scarring behavior while raising questions among his family about the way he was treated. 
Adam Kizer, a 16-year-old sophomore at Sonoma Valley High School, died Saturday at a hospital after being taken off life support, his family said..." - Read more: Suicide of Sonoma teen sparks discussion about bullying
Adam Kizer, Sonoma Valley High School student
Adam, rest in peace and in power. We are so sad for him and all the other bi+ teens who aren't making it, we can DO BETTER by them.

Monosexuals frequently dismiss, diminish and invalidate the wealth of data that shows bi+ people to have less support in coming out, in dealing with bullies or surviving suicidality.

Every day I hear from bi, pan, fluid and queer kids, adults and elders that they are encouraged to accept "the privilege" of hiding who they are.

They are denied services from gay and lesbian resource centers because "they should be fine, how hard can it be?"

And so they die, frequently without none to claim them as their own.

The bisexual community claims this young person! YOU WERE PRECIOUS TO US AND YOUR LOSS WILL BE REMEMBERED. We will keep fighting for you and share your story in hopes it is one less often told.

REMEMBER before you pack for a trip that has no return, try and reach a community of people who have pretty much been there and survived. Give us the chance to remind you of your inheritance still to come. From orange juice boycotts to sex education to PRIDE itself, you are part of a legend still in the making but only if you make it to tomorrow.

Make it to tomorrow.

Make it to tomorrow and find us, we are the B in LGBT and you are not alone.

Faith Cheltenham, BiNet USA President

LEARN MORE: HRC Youth Report on Supporting and Caring for our Bisexual Youth

DO MORE: Adam's family seeks assistance with burial and related costs, click here to donate

FIND BI+ COMMUNITY IN YOUR AREA: Bisexual groups in the USA

(Hashtags- #MakeItTomorow #Biphobiakills)

BiNet USA + #OurTomorrow - Washington D.C. Photo Blast

Bi Any Other Name co-editor and bisexual legend Loraine Hutchins, BiNet USA President Faith Cheltenham, Dr. Herukhuti, Apphia Kumar, Black LGBT and bi icon ABilly S. Jones-Hennin and Afro-Latina social work/bi+ rock star, Penelope Williams at Human Rights Campaign co-hosted event celebrating bi+ people of color.
Bi+ South Asian rock star and SALGA-NYC Board member Apphia Kumar with bi+ icon Loraine Hutchins, co-editor of the seminal bisexual anthology, Bi Any Other Name!

 To help encourage survey takers, we're giving out BiNet USA + #OurTomorrow buttons! 

Please share your voice by using the BiNet USA link, let's make sure the B in LGBT is heard!

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

BiNet USA + #OurTomorrow - BECAUSE Photo Blast

 BRC Board member Heather Benjamin and Center for Culture, Sexuality and Spirituality founder Dr. Herukhuti catch a break with BiNet USA President Faith Cheltenham at the BiNet USA + Our Tomorrow Table at 2015 BECAUSE Conference. Take the survey and change the future of the bi+ community:

BiNet USA + Our Tomorrow Table at 2015 BECAUSE Conference. Take the survey and change the future of the bi+ community:

Bisexual Resource Center board member Heather Benjamin was a major asset to our team while at BECAUSE! Thanks BRC!

 From the BiNet USA + Our Tomorrow table you could see the future of our community!

Please share your voice by using the BiNet USA link, let's make sure the B in LGBT is heard!